Tonight was pretty bizarre.
After a very solid episode (and finish to the first part of season 4) of Battlestar Galactica, Pat, Alice, Furby and I loaded into the ol’ Paddy Wagon and went to the cinema. Incredible Hulk, you ask? No. Alice talked us into seeing the new M. Night Shamalamadingdong movie, The Happening.
No it’s fucking not happening.
No matter who wants to drag you to this movie, unless you’re getting sex or money (and a fair bit of either) don’t go. Don’t go for free booze. Just buy it yourself. Yes, it’s that bad. It’s so fucking terrible I want to punch M. Night right in the face. He’s been talking up the fact that it’s rated R, but it should be rated U for Uve Boll.
I’ve seen four of the six M. Night movies (missing Lady in the Water and The Village) and he has consistently disappointed me. The Sixth Sense was interesting enough to make me pay attention, but useless for rewatching. No, it’s Unbreakable that keeps bringing me back – it’s one of the best movies ever made. But this one? It’s so terrible that I thought I was going to start hearing Mike Nelson voiceovers after a while. God knows it would have made it infinitely more watchable.
I also know the title of this post is a spoiler and I totally don’t fucking care one bit. Much like Indiana Jones Conquers the Martians, I’m so disappointed with the core premise of this film that no matter how many good things it has going for it (unlike Indy, it’s a pretty goddamn short list that basically begins and ends with Zooey Deschanel being really nerdy-attractive) it’s not worth suffering through. Ever.
I’m not really interested in even thinking further about this movie so I’m gonna end this early. I’m going to go watch the latest Venture Brothers episode and remind myself what quality entertainment is.