One bourbon, one scotch, and one mav

On Thursday I take test 70-293, 4/6 (+1 gimme.) I am so ready for this MCSE bullshit to be over. I spent the better part of today studying the same useless bullshit I’ve been studying off and on for the last several months. I’m dedicating my existence to this shit until it’s fucking done, because I’m desperately tired of this and of computing in general. It’s amazing how uncreative it is. At the end of the day I feel somehow cheapened because of it.

I’ve become all that I hate. My cousin told me some years back that I would grow to hate computing, and boy howdy was he ever correct. Much later in life, Doc would answer my question about why he chose to be a history major by telling me that he enjoyed computing way too much to do it for a living. These people were smart. I am not. These days, I get calls from somebody wanting me to help them with a computer problem, I want to rip their fucking head off. I don’t know why. These people are my friends and family. It’s entirely reasonable for them to call me.

I’m far too afraid to try and find another career. Not only am I afraid to ruin another hobby by trying to do it for a living, but I have this feeling that somehow I’ve got to keep the evil where I can see it. Can’t see what you’re not a part of. Besides, if life really is the search for the greatest good, in these modern times is there anything out there that functions as a greater good than computing? The downside, of course, is that these days it is used far more as a source of control than empowerment. It’s really sad.

So I watched Shawshank again. If you’re ever in need of inspiration or hope, watch Shawshank. If you’re still down, watch it again. I’ve seen it so many times I can quote it line for line - for a number of months I used to just watch it every sunday. I’ve seen it no less than a dozen times, and I’ve come to the conclusion that if you don’t get a little misty at the end you’re a horrible monster. In my lifetime I have seen many movies, but none have ever given me hope like Shawshank does. It is my favorite movie.

New schedule tomorrow and I should have been asleep half an hour ago.