One bourbon, one scotch, and one mav

If there’s one thing in particular I really, really hate about being a fatass, it’s the fact that it seems fucking impossible to find a good, comfortable office chair. I know this probably isn’t a fatass-only endeavour, but it sure seems like it.

I’ve purchased 3 different office chairs in the last year, one for every time my old chair broke. Every time I have ended up hating the chair I bought and patching my old chair together somehow. Well, this is the last straw - my old faithful chair broke in a way that’s not easily fixable, and now I’m stuck dealing with crappy-ass chairs.

First one I tried was at Officemax, I found a small little chair that felt deceptively comfortable. Upon getting it home I discovered why - after a couple hours of sitting on the ol’ ass, it felt less comfortable than setting on a pile of rocks. Second one was very comfy, with the problem that its center of gravity was so skewed towards the rear of the chair that I feel like I’m doing a tremendous amount of effort to tilt it backwards. And it’s too high. Strike two. Third chair, which I bought tonight, jumped right out at me when I walked into the store - big, roomy, durable construction, and sitting in the demo model felt like falling into a cloud. Well, the one I pulled out of the box is uncomfortable and too high for my desk. Again. So it’s going back. Fuck. I’m convinced there’s some sort of magic spell going on with the demo aisle chairs. Pretty soon I’m gonna be sitting on a stack of milk crates. (At least it’ll be more comfortable than chair #1.)

At this point I’d be more than willing to drop $1000 on one of those flashy dot-bomb era office chairs, if in return it would be comfortable and last me a minimum of 5 years. $200 a year is more than worth it if I could find a comfortable place to park my ass.