Mar 16
This is probably stolen
and by that, I mean that Bill Hicks probably did it first. But since I don’t have any Bill Hicks to listen to, really, I’m taking my chances. I know that Carlin did it, in his “Free Floating Hostility” bit, and it’s really funny. Read this. It pretty much covers how I feel about voting, politics, and the upcoming presidential election.
Here’s hoping George Carlin doesn’t sue me.
“Now there’s one thing you might have noticed I don’t complain about. Politicians. Everybody complains about politicians. Everybody says they suck. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? They don’t fall out of the sky. They don’t pass through a membrane from another reality. They come from American parents, and from American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses and American universities; and they’re elected by American citizens. This is the best we can do, folks. This is what we have to offer. It’s what our system produces. Garbage in, garbage out.
If you have selfish, ignorant citizens you’re going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. Term limits aren’t going to do you any good, you’re just going to wind up with another bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. Maybe… maybe… maybe it’s not the politicans who suck. Maybe something else sucks around here. Like… the public.
Yeah. The public sucks. There’s a nice campaign slogan for somebody. The public sucks. Fuck hope. FUCK HOPE. Because if it’s really the fault of these politicians then where are all the other bright people of concsience? Where are all the bright, intelligent Americans ready to step in and save the nation and lead the way? We don’t have people like that in this country. Everybody’s at the mall. Scratching his ass, picking his nose, taking his credit card out of his fanny pack and buying a pair of sneakers with lights in them.
So I have solved this political dilemma for myself in a very simple way: On election day, I stay home. I don’t vote. Fuck ‘em FUCK ‘EM, I DON’T VOTE. Two reasons I don’t vote: First of all, it’s meaningless. This country was bought and sold and paid for a long time ago. The shit they shuffle around every four years? Doesn’t mean a fucking thing.
And secondly, I don’t vote because I believe if you vote, you have no right to complain. People like to twist that around, I know. They say “If you don’t vote you have no right to complain,” but where’s the logic in that? If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent people and they get into office and screw everything up, then you are responsible for what they have done. You caused the problem. You voted them in. You have no right to complain.
I… on the other hand…
… who did not vote, who, in fact, did not even leave the house on election day, am in no way responsible for what these people have done and have every right to complain as loud as I want about the fucking mess you created that I had nothing to do with.
So, I know that a little later on this year you’re going to have one of those really swell Presidential elections that you like so much. You’ll enjoy yourselves. It’ll be a lot of fun. I’m sure as soon as the election’s over, your country will improve immediately. As for me, I’ll be home doing esentially the same thing as you, the only difference is, when I get finished masturbating, I’m gonna have a little something to show for it, folks.”