Completely random turns of events
Just a few seconds ago I was sitting here debating the nature of the universe and whether I should rewrite part of my shitty CS assignment using classes or not, when I realized I was wearing socks.
Not that socks are bad, mind you. In fact, I rather enjoy wearing socks. But the weird part is, I don’t remember putting these socks on.
I know about 45 minutes ago I got up ’cause I couldn’t sleep, put my sweats on, went to the bathroom, came back, sat down, and started surfing the forums. An otherwise typical morning, punctuated only by the odd fact that suddenly I realized I had on these mystery socks, socks that I did not apply and that I did not remember sleeping in.
What in the hell happened? Was I so unbelievably groggy this morning that I put on a pair of socks without remembering them at all? Did these socks slip some rohypnol in my beverage while I was at home last night and then repeatedly and violently rape my feet while I was asleep? Did I just forget to take them off when I came home real late?
Given this disturbing turn of events, I must warn all of you that it seems to me that socks are taking over the world. If we don’t act now, they will rise up en masse and overpower us before we have a chance to slip on our sandals! We must act NOW, decisively and swiftly, while we still have the upper hand. We must throw all of our socks in the dryer and dry like we’ve never dried before, for every time you put an even number of socks in a dryer, only an odd number come out. Taking advantage of this fact, we can stop the sock menace before it starts, but we MUST. ACT. NOW!!
To your dryers! We have nothing to lose but warm feet in the winter!