Jul 23
Securing Win9x
One of the things I got asked a lot when I was a computer guy was how to make Windows (9x) more secure. This topic has come up very briefly in recent conversation, so I’d like to share this with you.
Trying to secure Windows 9x is kinda like living in a house that is physically incapable of having any locks placed on its doors or windows.
Oh, and the only defense allowed by the landlord (because remember, you’re only renting this property) is one of the following:
1. Putting up a sign that sais ‘Please don’t rob me.” Well, that’s what you’d start with anyway, pretty soon you’d be putting up signs liek “Motherfucker stay out of my house” and the ever-ppopular “Don’t come in here asshole, I’ve got a gun” (even though you don’t actually have a gun.)
2. Putting a huge locked box around the entire house, and requiring anyone who wants to enter or exit the house to present keys. The only big downside is that once the house is unlocked once, it is once again freely available to everyone until everybody leaves, at which point it’s all locked up again.
In short, securing Win9x is only slightly less futile than trying to pound a round piece of steel flat with only a towel. Only one thing can be said for those who succeed: they cheated.