I need insight
So I’m sitting here, staring off into nothingness and slowly realizing that I have no idea what I’m doing here and that it’s really starting to get me down.
When I first decided to go back to school it was a really easy decision. I had my tuition paid for and since the shop was nosediving for many varied and ugly reasons, it seemed the natural thing to do. And thanks to Ken and the paper, I had something to keep me busy - something that I could devote my energy to. Something to keep my mind busy.
But here at the UofI, I have nothing. Nada. Zip.
I never do anything to help anybody. I just sit in my room and write code and do math. And I’ve only been here one semester, and I don’t get it at all. Not at all. I’m just tired, and frustrated, and I want to curl up into a little ball and just end it all right here.
Because if I packed my computers and clothes, put it all in my car and went home tomorrow, I still wouldn’t have any idea what I want to do.
I just don’t know what I want to do anymore. And it’s tearing me up, and I can’t figure out what to do about it.